Crazy in Love and 5 Red Flags

Last night I was Toastmaster at a meeting of Laughing Matters Toastmasters, my club here in Austin. I picked the theme of "Young Love"-- and felt quite insecure about handling such a broad topic. I was too many years removed from "puppy love" to summon any insights.

Whoa... what do I do? Who do you call? I called Ken, my comedy consultant.

Ken encouraged me to think about the pitfalls of falling in love.

* We get little clues in the early stages of relationships, red flags.
* We barely notice the red flags, even though they indicate trouble down the road.
* We ignore the red flags because of infatuation, our crazy love, with the new person.

Things to consider about the other person when you're in the early stages of falling in love--  some areas include:

1) Money-- do they pay bills?
2) Relationship history-- did this new lover date married people in the past?
3) The Law-- did they call the cops on an ex-boyfriend? You could be next.
4) Language-- do they cuss like a sailor? not good
5) Addiction-- do they drink, do drugs? Pay attention to this red flag.

Ken's guidance was helpful. Everybody has a relationship story to tell. Toastmasters is all about participation of the entire group. I resolved to bring everybody into the conversation.

Remember to pay attention to those red flags in the early days of a relationship. Sure you're wearing the rose-colored glasses. You're crazy in love but try to be objective. See the other person more clearly and save yourself some grief further down the road.

Why do legends die... so quickly

Talking to my daughter tonight. Commented how quickly people move out of the conversation, go from being household names to afterthoughts-- in the blink of an eye.

Think of Jay Leno? Remember him? Just barely right. He was The Tonight Show host. Had the best job a comedian can get. Then his tenure ended. He's forgotten. Or so it seems.

David Letterman? A comedy genius. The man who introduced irony. And that's the key to comedy performance-- a total revolution. Well, he ended a few months ago and is not completely forgotten. But almost.

Jon Stewart. You loved him. But you'll probably forget him. Can't see him every night. He doesn't exist.

Maybe if you were just the right age to savor Jon Stewart he will continue to resonate and hold a magic place in your heart and your memory bank. I didn't fall into that demographic. So Jon takes a minor role in the repertoire of characters filling the back rows of my consciousness.

Frank Gifford passed away, a football star and Monday Night Football broadcaster. The cool thing is he was immortalized in the literary annals by Frederick Exley in his incomparable A Fan's Notes-- must be read to be believed. Oxley is like Holden Caulfield, all grown up and still fucked-up as hell. A brilliant and wonderful book and with a strong Frank Gifford motif.

But I like Gifford. I was a 10 year old kid in NYC when he was a young gazelle for the NY Football Giants as they were called back then. Not to be confused by the baseball team NY Giants from up in the Polo Grounds.

And then for a kid who loved media... what could be better than The Hick, The Prick and Gif... the "irreverent county-boy" Dandy Don Meredith, "the contentious" Howard Cossell, and Frank Gifford "with his low-key persona"... calling the Monday Night football games at the behest  of Roone Arledge. Gifford was the rational one, keeping track of the ball and the flow of the game. But they're all gone now and soon to be forgotten. (Quotes are from the NY Times obituary of Frank Gifford on August 10, 2015.)

That's the nature of this beast, this thing called mortality. You have to reach a certain age to realize just how cruel it is, and how beautiful... we all dance to the tune of the Grim Reaper.... the kings, the peasants, the butchers, bakers, candlestick makers and football announcers too.

Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio,
A nation turns its eyes to you (woo, woo, woo)

(Simon and Garfukel, Mrs. Robinson lyrics)

Breaking Up with Nature...

How can we stay connected to nature? Probably a lost cause. We have broken up with Nature, and ending a relationship can be painful and fraught with confusion and denial. Breaking up is hard to do... (Breaking' Up Is Hard to Do, Neil Sedaka, 1962)

Nature is gone now, surrounded by man and his technology. The world is encompassed by satellites. Marshall McLuhan called the satellite--surround a the proscenium arch... turning the world into a stage and all of us into actors. All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. (As You Like It, Act II, scene VII, William Shakespeare, 1599) McLuhan said Nature becomes an art form under such conditions. Earth photographed from space looked like a blue marble. The image indicated the whole world was in our hands.

Politicians have become actors fighting for the spotlight. Twitter and facebook postings provide us an identity... a global audience. And back on earth... well, Nature has become an art form.

Why did the death of Cecil cause us such pain? Many lions have been hunted down. The numbers dwindled down to such a point that every lion is now a Van Gogh, a Picasso, something treasured. Cecil's death signals our complete separation from Nature. We long for Nature, feel a nostalgia.

Why the proliferation of pets? Veterinarian shows are all over cable TV. We long for the natural world.

Why all the references to feces in movie comedy in recent years-- our obsession with shit is yet another expression of a disconnect from nature. Our bodily functions still involve the natural world.

A friend of mine states that our dreams remain our only connection to nature. Dreams cannot be controlled. The run free like lions across the savannah.